Every time we are tempted to get angry. When somebody utters negative words towards us, when somebody promises us of something but failed to do it, when the person that we revere the most throws us with hurting words, even things don’t go according to what we have planned, these likely bring us a trigger of anger. Science says that it is actually a normal reaction of our body when intense emotion flares up. It is a fragment of life and in fact, it is truly one of the deadliest sins mentioned in the bible. Nonetheless, we also have to consider that this kind of emotion doesn’t serve any practical purpose and when it immobilizes you, it can also be disparaging. Remember that too much anger or chronic anger can be dangerous to your health, in your state of mind, in your working place and even put you in a state of too much stress in life. Dyer (2007) in his book refers anger as immobilizing reaction, experienced when any expectancy is not met. With the idea presented, anger can be handled and you have all the control with the emotion you are feeling. When the emotion is at par high, you can manage to express it without regretting of saying hurting words to someone else. Though it is enervating, it is not good also when your attitude of it is out of control. The following strategies may help you to simmer down of anger and get a benefit out from it.
Be calm. Breath in, breath out. Do it as often as you can until the feeling of anger dissipated. Get the air out from your diaphragm. You can sit in a comfortable chair, close your eyes breathe in and breathe out and through this process, you will feel your mind and body relax. Instead of dwelling on the situation that occurred that caused you into anger, you can put an imagery in your thoughts of the blissful moments in your life that can make you calm. Attract positive words in your thought such as upholding yourself not to be a victim of the situation you are in. That you are a person capable of yourself to be happy. Remember that you can make yourself calm by not entertaining negative thoughts in your mind. Anger, like emotion, is a product of the way we think. It is the information produced by our unconscious mind as a response to a word, thought or event that occurred. Whenever you have that angry feeling in your heart try to shift your thought and never entertain it. Face it and let it out in a non-destructive way. Exercise and yoga can also be another form of calming oneself whenever situation put you into anger until you see yourself going to the realm of tranquillity. Consider a good sleep also at night because there is a magic in sleeping that can combat emotional problems such as your anger.
Don’t Expect from other. There is an adage that says frustration breeds from expectation. We may have expectation from our friends such we want them to act and speak like us so that we may not be judged by others as being different because of the choice of friends we have. Possibly, you may have a higher standard and expecting everyone surrounds you that your standard should also be their bases in doing things and not want it could mean frustration on your part. Basically, our expectation to others doesn’t mean that this could also be their expectation. One thing you should realize is that we cannot change other people. We can only change ourselves. People are people of who they are and not accepting them could mean to unhappiness and even anger. Have the alacrity of accepting every one of their individuality. Do not expect your boss to be perfect because like you, he also might have his life’s insecurity and struggles. Instead, learn to love them for who they are. If you put a parameter of setting an expectation, you also limit the risk of disappointment. Bear in your thoughts that truly the only person you can change is you and not anyone else’s life. You should always carry the thought of peace regardless of the situation you are in. Find peace within oneself by not expecting someone else to be the same like you.
In touch with your thoughts. I personally believe that the most powerful system in your body is within your mind. As a person, you should not underestimate the power of your brain. We become of who we are depending on what we feed with our thoughts. If we always think of negative thoughts we become negative. Really, thoughts shape our behavior and character and if you think that you are a wise person you avert negative thoughts and actions that will destruct yourself such as anger. Make peace within yourself and accept the reality that anger is very human and we are capable of feeling it. Since your feeling stems from your emotion and so anger can also be avoided as long as you have the reason to accept it. Whenever anger strikes your way, train yourself to shift those thoughts into positive. Have a self-governing mechanism over your mind and what it yields. Remember this old saying as mentioned by Peale in his book that says “You cannot prevent the birds from flying over your head, but you can keep them from building nests in your hair.” Every time you repudiate anger in your thoughts it becomes weaker until it vanishes and substituted by positive thoughts.
Keep a track of your anger. One way to minimize anger or being a sovereign controller of angry feeling is to keep track of your anger. Recognize that anger is a part of life and being aware of it is a supreme. You can actually write it in a journal or in your diary by attesting the date, time, place, and instance or instances that make you angry. Say something about it or maybe elaborate it more by detailing and what strategies you provided for it to be disappeared. We suggest that you should take this unfailingly so that every time you get angry and writing it in your journal you are also reminded that anger will not bring any good and so you avoid it to dominate you. Instead, show love to yourself so that this anger will not make you into a self-destructive one.
Develop a Sense of Humour. You cannot equate anger to happiness. The two are mutually exclusive in so many sense. You cannot feel the emotion of being happy at the same time you feel angry. You either choose between the two. Perhaps you can develop a sense of humor within yourself. Through this, you can relieve the burden or annoyance you feel due to some circumstances. This one suggesting that you can actually shift from anger that tends to be excessively abstemious about yourself into laughing because it will make you feel so good. If you are also subjected to life’s challenges, instead of crying over spilled milk why not choose to respond it with positivity such as confronting it with your sense of humor. It will help you be spirited and sanguine in life. Don’t wait for a perfect time to laugh just find time to do it. Laugh with your colleagues, with your friends or with people in the Divisoria. Do it instead of harboring the ill feeling that can only lead you to misery. Instead of carrying around the anger that will eventually exterminate you little by little, cultivate your sense of humor and you will not only bring the sunshine to your own soul but to other people as well. Don’t take life seriously, it will make you old fast. Try to look those people who don't laugh, you see plenty of wrinkles that surround in their face.
Have a moment with someone. If you keep your anger within you, it will only destroy your inner peace. It will only be like a volcano ready to vent at a given time. Anger is a very normal emotion that a person can feel. However, it is vital to keep one's cool at bay by dealing with it. It must be dealt properly instead of just suppressing it. The best way for it to disappear or at least curtail is to have an open communication. You can actually share it with a friend, family members and perhaps your significant others. It is one of the best ways to use so that you can prevent the said emotion to rescind your inner peace and not be overly taken by it so that you will not reach the level of lashing out with the person that makes you angry. Essentially, talk also with the person that cause your anger but never in a form of being critical and impugning because it will only make the other party defensive. However, you can express it in a respectful and tactful way. Wala naman sigurong hindi makukuha sa mabuting usapan. Remember that if you do not share your anger or tell it to the person who hurts you, it will only disfigure you until such time you will be eaten out such emotion.
Pray to God. Often times when we get angry, we keep it within ourselves. We go to our working place smiling. We sometimes talk to our friends with a smile but underneath the smile lies the unresolved issue caused by anger. We use guise to cover up the things from us that nobody wants us to see such as the feeling of anger. One way to banish it is by sharing or telling it to God in a form of a prayer. Always pray. Prayers can move a mountain. Whatever P It is a way of dealing the circumstance in a Godly-way. Pray it to him by telling him the whole story. Well, in fact, God can surely relate the anger that fills in you. He too got angered during His existence. God feels angry emotion on the wrong deeds of his people. But it doesn’t mean that when you get angry you are indeed wrong but how you respond to it that matters. Do you take it in a wrong way or in a right way? It will only depend on you. Start seeing your life in God’s perspectives that when you get angry you should respond it constructively not to the extent that your response will only mar your inner peace. You will end up a loser of the emotion that you should not be letting to harbor in your soul.
Holding to the idea of having anger is also a choice to agonize. However, as Dyer stated in his book that if you are tempted to get anger it is not yet a sin, it is more on how we respond to it. Always remember that you can actually eliminate the feeling. Perhaps by following the above-mentioned steps, you can shift the emotion you are in. Make sure to work on steps that will create new feelings instead of nurturing that will counter a productive behavior. Don’t be an emotional slave to this kind of circumstance, you can use the situation to test you on how you can manage it positively. Instead of feeling angry, give love and kindness and eventually, these will come back to you. Give hatred, or anger and your return is also anger and hatred. Remember that if we plant corn we cannot expect to get rice. Kung ano ang itinanim natin ay siya rin ang aanihin. Sa halip na magtanim ng galit, magkaroon ng pusong marunong umunawa sa iyong kapwa.
Sources:
Dyer, Wayne (n.d) Your erroneous zones. Broadway New York. Avon Books, Dept.
Peale, Norman Vincent, (2000). Discover the power of positive thinking. 5A/8 Ansari Road, New Delhi. Jay Kay Offset Printers.
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